Alphabet Soup Gone Wrong: OCD and PMS | Overcoming OCD
(1)Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Clinical and Research Unit, Department of there is a relationship between reproductive cycle events and the initiation or Premenstrual Syndrome/diagnosis; Premenstrual Syndrome/epidemiology. You wake up feeling bloated and crabby. Everything seems to take longer than it should. You're not quite on the ball at work, and for some. Relationship OCD, aka ROCD, is when sufferers are consumed with doubts about their relationship. They question their love for their partner.
Typically, the hormonal changes occur in the week before the woman starts her period, during which time the symptoms are likely to continue. Avoiding your partner or burying issues that she raises will mean that you never learn how to cope with her menstrual health challenges in a healthy way.
Refusing to acknowledge it head-on only leads to you feeling persecuted and her feeling isolated or neglected. Whilst there are things she can do to improve her own experience of PMS, you also have the power to take charge of your reaction to it.
Communicate effectively Some aspects of PMS are about perspective, your's and her's.
PMS & Relationships
What you call her being over sensitive, she is experiencing as ultimate clarity. During the one or two weeks of PMS, core relationship issues that women are usually calm or less vocal about can become magnified.
All the filters that help her to make excuses for you, for herself, the relationship, for why the children act the way they do, are suddenly removed. This is why talking openly as much as possible and resolving any problems throughout the entire month is crucial. Never assume that a woman knows her own rhythms or has it all figured out. As much as we like to believe we are completely in tune with ourselves, some of us have coped alone for so long that the lines between general lifestyle pressures and PMS can become blurred.
You can use your phone, an app or calendar, but whatever you choose, you need to be interested enough in the health of your relationship to plot her cycles and their emotional and physical symptoms. That is not a good idea if it is a value of yours to meet someone and spend your life with them.
We all must select a decent match and decide to accept their downsides rather than picking someone else and accepting their downsides. There is a time where the searching needs to end if we are ever to have a life partner and begin spending our lives with them. While this may sound like selling out or living in denial to the ROCD sufferer, it is the normal process each person experiences when choosing a life partner. How will you know if you are in love?
How you do know if your love is strong enough to continue on in the relationship? There is no blood test to find out. OCD tends to attach itself to immeasurable and unprovable things. When the distance to the answer is a long and confusing one, OCD has more material to complicate and force certainty-seeking compulsions that is its life force.
Relationships will involve both pleasant and unpleasant feelings, and ROCD sufferers will mistake difficult internal experiences as evidence. You may see a romantic couple in public laughing, one snapshot in time, and believe your relationship is not as connected or exciting. There is no musical score playing in the background when you walk in New York City holding the hand of your significant other. Before getting engaged to my husband, we were watching a scene from a ridiculous movie, the title which is escaping me.
During a proposal scene, the male character got down on one knee, opened his hand, and there was a butterfly. When it flew away the engagement ring was exposed.
Love the One You’re With? (…And Other Questions in Relationship OCD)
In the next scene the butterfly was in a cage, somehow captured as her pet and reminder of the engagement. Many of you may think that if you can know for sure you have OCD then you will know for sure that your significant other is right for you. You may imagine your true soul mate waiting for you to find them as you are all tied up with the wrong person. You wonder if the doubt you feel is a sign you should be paying attention to.
Figuring out if you have OCD is not a way to choose to stay in a relationship.
In fact, if you are seeking certainty about the relationship or if you have OCD you are doing a ritual that is reinforcing uncertainty about your relationship. Risk All relationships involve some level of risk. The nature of relationships can be a huge trigger for intrusive OCD thoughts and desperate feelings of uncertainty. For example, I have no idea if my husband is packing his bags right now as I type these words. This risk is inherent in everything we do.
The OCD brain is more sensitive to uncertainty. This causes the sufferer to attempt to answer the questions about the relationship that others let fade naturally without much attention. Feelings barometer Feelings come and go. At some point today you may feel a loving feeling toward your significant other and at some point you may be annoyed by him or her. At some point you may feel like spending time together and at some point you will want to be alone.
If we depended on feelings as a decision-maker about whether to be with our partners, we would be breaking up with them multiple times per day. People without OCD are able to shock absorb these shifts in feelings. Those with ROCD feel every minor bump in the road. These normal shifts in feelings towards your partner can all of a sudden feel like your entire life may be on the wrong path.
You are actually not in a different boat than all other people in relationships. Developing mindfulness skills through formal and informal meditation can help you to observe the ROCD spikes and let them pass without reacting with compulsions. In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy ACTa mindfulness-based therapy for OCD, we teach clients to ground their decisions on their values rather than fluctuating internal experiences. This can be very helpful with ROCD where the sufferer should always have skepticism about his or her intrusive relationship thoughts and feelings.
For one thing, only decide for right now, this exact moment. Unless you plan to have a sit down, at this very moment, to break up with your significant other, choose to be with them for now. Every moment is a choice. Right now you are choosing them and all their annoying habits.