Rekindling the love in a relationship

Rekindling Love

rekindling the love in a relationship

How to Rekindle the Spark in Your Relationship Make a list of what you fell in love with and another list of good things you've discovered. What if you already had a tool to make your relationship stronger? To bring you and What if this was the answer to the question of how to rekindle a relationship. Some things are so I love you; I miss you. I can't wait to see. Bring back the passion from the early days of your relationship with these expert For whatever reason you've found yourself falling out of love, here's how the.

You likely made an extra effort to be on your best behavior. As the relationship has progressed, how well have you maintained those initial feelings and behaviors? It is human nature to highly value a new love interest and to treat that person with great care and respect. Unfortunately, it is also human nature to become complacent and to take people for granted as time passes.

Just as a child may excitedly treat a new toy as precious and valuable, only to lose interest and ignore it later, partners who have been together a long time may no longer treat each other as they did during the preliminary thrill of connecting.

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Once kids, careers, and life's responsibilities are added to the mix, that initial level of loving kindness and respect can easily diminish. The good news is that the spark of love, appreciation, and closeness can be reignited. It is possible to rediscover the special connection that brought you and your partner together in the first place.

If you are in a long-term relationship that is starting to feel a bit stale or unsatisfying, here are some tips to help you rekindle the spark. Remember and Re-experience -- Remember those early days of dating, when your partner could do no wrong?

You probably had butterflies of excitement at the mere thought of getting together.

rekindling the love in a relationship

Perhaps you left your first few dates with the thrilling anticipation of seeing them again. If you did notice any less than favorable qualities, they were easy to overlook and probably overshadowed by all the things you liked. Unfortunately, over time, many people start focusing more on what they see as their companion's flaws and shortcomings rather than the qualities they once found endearing.

As Marriage and Family Therapists, we have worked with many clients who have innocently fallen into that negative trap.

rekindling the love in a relationship

What we have found is that most relationships can be greatly enhanced when partners consciously and regularly remember and re-experience the thoughts, feelings, and appreciation they once had for each other. Try looking at your partner through new eyes. Consciously consider the things you like, love, and appreciate.

rekindling the love in a relationship

Think about what you would miss about them if they were gone. What attracted you to your partner in the first place? What were your early dates like? What were the qualities about this person that you found most loveable?

Recall the sweet times you have shared together and focus your attention on your partner's positive qualities so you can re-experience the feelings that you felt in the early days of your relationship. Listen Attentively -- When you went on the first few dates with your partner, you probably did not have your face buried in an iPad or a cell phone.

Perhaps they weren't even invented yet! Instead, consciously think about your answer to one of your partner's requests, take a moment to understand and think about what he's saying, and give a clear, measured response. Hopefully, over time you can learn to compromise on some things, and if he wants the relationship to continue and your love to come back to him, then he'll notice that and respond.

Even if you end up disagreeing on something, or saying no, the fact you have clearly considered a response before answering will do the power of good.

rekindling the love in a relationship

And hey, you might actually enjoy some of the activities you never would have done before! Make new friends and have more of an outside life. To regain love, you may first have to broaden your horizons, so the man in your life starts to crave attention. When you spend time apart, you will appreciate your time together much more!

If you have kids, get to know other parents and spend time with them. If you want to get fit, join a gym and start training your body, not for him, for yourself. Maybe you've always had a dream of spending time painting, or some other creative pastime. This is your chance to do it!

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All of these activities have one thing in common—your man can join you in these pursuits. If he does, then as well as spending some extra quality time with each other, you may find a shared love for a hobby or skill. I don't mean Monopoly or Scrabble!

rekindling the love in a relationship

The mind games and digs at each other have to stop. You may feel justified in what you say or what you do during one of these verbal battles, but over time they not only wear you out, but also kill your partner's longing to be with you. Start being straight with each other rather than beating about the bush and making snide comments. Mind games in some situations can be fun, and completely harmless, such as teasing in the bedroom, or play fighting.

These can actually help foster a good relationship, and be healthy reminders of why you love each other. However the petty arguments that can start to creep in to a relationship after a while do nothing to help you start to regain love like you felt when you first met. Honesty—one simple word, but probably the most important aspect to a relationship, and certainly an essential part of regaining love that may have lapsed. I'm sure you were honest at some point in your bonding, when nothing seemed taboo, and you could tell your partner everything there was to know about yourself.

As we grow, things change, and two things happen. If you find yourself being less physical with your partner to punish them, avoid sex or for any other reason, you need to address that immediately. Remember to touch your partner, as this will help you to redevelop the closeness between you. Innovate and give the relationship your best effort When you and your partner were just starting out, you wanted to show the very best side of yourself to each other.

You consistently thought about ways to make your partner feel special, be it leaving them love notes or planning extravagant dates for one another. When did that stop?

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Consider the fact that the success of your relationship works the exact same way as the success of your initial courtship. Remember what you did to win your partner over. How happy would your partner feel today if you took a few extra minutes to remind them that they are loved?

Understand that your connection will continue to strengthen and deepen if you innovate and make extraordinary efforts.