Meet the Parents () - Rotten Tomatoes
In addition to De Niro, Stiller, Polo, Danner and Wilson, Meet the Fockers stars Dustin Hoffman and Barbra Greg Focker: Love, friendship just love, I think. Meet the Fockers Quotes. Jack Byrnes: You gonna bother me about a steak?! Isabel: So many wonderful memories from those days. Questions and answers for Meet the Fockers (). Ask anything you want to know, or answer other people's questions.
Oh, you don't have to do that. It's no problem for me. Wake up and make Greg a cappuccino! Shake a leg, woman! Jesus, Jack, you know, I'm not that tired. This cockpit's completely soundproofed. You should've seen the look on your face. That was-- That was a good one. But you should never talk to a woman like that, you know that, Greg. Greg, a man reaches a certain age when he realizes what's truly important. You know what that is? Now, my grandson, Little Jack, is part of that legacy.
In six months, you and Pam are gonna be married. Sometime after that, you'll want to start a family of your own. Actually, on the subject, I had some thoughts about the wedding date.
We'll discuss that later, after this weekend, Greg. Now, let's get back on point. Let me put it very simply. If your family circle does indeed join my family circle, they'll form a chain. I can't have a chink in my chain. I get the metaphor. Now, I've never met your parents, so I'm not going to jump to any hasty conclusions. But, like studying a frozen caveman, if I can see where you came from, I'll have a much better idea of where you're going.
A- are you thinking maybe my parents might be like-- like a chink in the chain or A doctor and a lawyer, what's there to worry about? Ooh, it seems very nice.
Is that your father? That is my father. What the heck is that contraption? I thought you guys were flying in tonight. I left a message yesterday We were driving-- Oh, I didn't get a message. I left you like five messages. Will you get over here and plant one on me. I've been waiting so long to see you. Good to see you. Oh, I missed you. Is this not the most handsome young man you've ever seen in your life? I used to call him a young Jewish Marlon Brando.
Can you believe I conceived him with one testicle? I only have one because the other never dropped. It's called an undescending testicle.
It's not uncommon, but look at him. Imagine what he would have looked like if I had two. That's a good icebreaker. There's the sexiest second grade teacher I've ever seen in my life.
That was a good one. It gets her every time. It's so nice to meet you. The pleasure is all mine, mon cheri. You got to be the flower man. Jack Byrnes, Pam's father. And I'm Bernard Focker, Gaylord's father, and we're all grownups here and we shake hands like men. Oh, we're just playing here. Give me some love. What're you so shy about? Look at those pecs. You're harder than sheetrock. Now tell me the truth. You work out with weights, right?
Well, I do various callisthenics. Some medicine-ball training, I play bimonthly football. I was just, uh, practicing my Capoeira. The Brazilian martial art of dance fighting. He knows what that is. You know, I've been doing it for weeks. I'm really into it.
It keeps me level. Because sometimes I get wound up so tight, I could just snap. Is there a baby on board? It was all in the message. Hey, Moses, go ahead, say hello to your future in-laws. No, no, he's harmless. Just shake him off. He likes the shaking. The pink part didn't get on you. Moses, go, get in your basket.
Who's this little guy? This is our grandson, Little Jack. How are you, Little Jack? Hey, Dad, don't-- don't-- don't infantilize him. Just talk to him like a person. What are you talking about?
I want to talk to him like he's a baby. When Roz's dad died, I said: Dad, you continue the tour.
Meet the Fockers () - IMDb
I'm gonna tell Mom we're here, okay? The upstairs bathroom is on el fritzo. So we're all gonna have to share this one for now. Since there's a water scarcity on the island, we kind of abide by the ''if it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down'' policy. Forgot my own rule. The RV has paid for itself already. Let's get your kundalini rising. And now it's time for the ladies to get into the reverse cowgirl position. Guys, you have to lie across the Liberator pad like so. Everyone look at how Ira's doing it.
The man is loose, he's limber and he's ready for action. So, climb aboard, girls, and let me hear your bodies talk. This position is terrific for anyone with osteoporosis, gout or goiter. Stay with me, kids. We have to wrap it up. Remember to take your Liberator pads. And don't forget to stretch before you try this at home. We don't want anyone shattering a pelvis. Oh, I love you so much. I haven't seen my bubeleh in months. Honey, you feel thin. Mom, how do we explain all these people to the Byrneses?
The Byrneses won't know they were here. We agreed to be discreet about you being a sex therapist this weekend until you got to know Jack and Dina better. I put all my toys away. And my office is all ready for them to sleep in. Your father thought they'd be more comfortable down here.
You don't wanna know.
- Meet the Fockers Quotes
- Meet the Parents
Talk to me about something important, honey. How are things with you and Pam? Because, you know, after two years, you have to work to keep things going. Does she still climax regularly? You can't talk that way this weekend, okay? Honey, I'm just saying I didn't raise you to be a so-so lover. Okay, what is he doing?
Don't-- don't worry about them. Mom, Mom, you got to get these people out of here now. Wipe that little gloss off you. You hunt deer, Bernard? No, I hate that thing. Roz's father gave it to us. He was into all that macho-wacho crap. He and I went duck-hunting together. Gay, you went duck-hunting with-- with Jack? We went, we did. We went on a little hunting trip. You shot a duck? I shot at a duck and You killed an innocent creature of the sky?
I think I might've clipped it or And now, for the piece de resistance. Little somethin' I've been workin' on. Mom will be out in a sec. It's the Wall of Gaylord. The Wall of Gaylord? Isn't it nice to finally display your accomplishments, Son? Honey, look at all your awards. Oh, I didn't know they made ninth place ribbons. Oh, Jack, they got them all the way up to th place.
Anybody want to get a drink by the lagoon? This one looks impressive. We've always tried to instill a sense of self in Gaylord without being too goal-oriented. It's not about winning or losing, it's about passion.
We just want him to love what he's doin'. You know what I mean, Jack? I think a competitive drive is the essential key that makes America the only remaining superpower in the world today.
Don't forget the positions. Oh, Thank you, BJ. Ira, remember, easy on the thrusting. What-- What kind of work does your mother do with those patients?
Those look like yoga mats. Is there yoga involved? It's sort of, um, a, um, a-- a-- a couples therapy. It's kind of her own sort of-- Rozela! How are you, baby girl? Look at you, you're glowing! I-- I just can't believe it's taken us this long to meet, huh. And who's this little hairball?
They brought their grandson Baby Jack along. I could eat him up. Bern, did you show them where they're sleeping? Because we don't have any air-conditioning, I made up a nice spot for you in Roz's office 'cause it gets the best breeze, and it's very near the communal commode. Oh, well, you know, actually, we're gonna stay in our motor home. We sleep under the same roof. Actually, Mom's office is kind of cluttered.
So, that-- that works all right. It's just really easier with Little Jack. They wanna sleep in the trailer, let them sleep in the trailer. Mom, it's not actually-- It's not a trailer. It's kind of like-- It's like a-- like a hotel on wheels. This is practically a hotel. I was gonna do the turndown service-- I know, I know, but it's their choice. Wherever you feel most comfortable is fine.
Bern, let it go. Yeah, let it go. Look at you, sulking. Now, look at this. I married a teenager. At least you have the libido of a teenager. I gave her a little matinee today-- Oh! How about a double feature? Why don't we go show them the lagoon? Come see the lagoon. We'll get drunk, we'll take a piss in the lagoon. Roz, why don't you take them outside?
I'll make a drink. Hey, Dad-- It's going good so far, right? Dad, you gotta take down that weird shrine thing. But I'm very proud of you, Gaylord. What's wrong with showing it? Most people aren't proud of sixth place ribbons. Since when do you care about most people? I don't, but Jack is really into winning and competition and sports. It's a whole other thing with him. You're a winner up here and in here. And that's all that matters.
I don't know what that means, but thank you. So, to solve that problem, I created a life-like latex left breast moulded from his mother's actual left breast, so this way L. You're avoiding confusion by strapping a boob on a man? Well, yes, believe it or not, it is less confusing because of the texture Mom.
Uh, I guess it's very, uh, creative. A little birdie told me that one of our guests here is a Tom Collins man. Oh, for pity's sake. Isn't that nice, Jack?
I want to make a toast. Now, I had a vasectomy in So, unfortunately, I never had the chance to procreate a daughter, but had I been able to, I really would've wanted a girl as sensitive and as intelligent and as beautiful as this young lady sitting right here before us.
And if I might add I thought you had a sister? You said you had a sister. You said you milked your sister's cat. Okay, I'm not done yet.
What I'm trying to say is, it's taken far too long to do this, you know, but we're finally all together. All right, that's enough. Like you have popcorn stuck in the throat. I want to say one more thing about my vasectomy. Honey, get yourself over here. You're so cute, they'll forgive you anything. You are the sexiest woman alive I know. You're just trying to get me back into bed.
This is a delicious Tom Collins. What I did, I used real lemon juice. It's from our trees here. He was squeezing all afternoon. And, Jack, I managed to make some lemon juice, too. Gay, you all right? Well, I think that Roz and Bernie seem like very nice people. A little off-colour, but very nice. But isn't it wonderful, Jack? After all this build-up, the kids are finally getting married. I feel so happy. I think he just spoke.
Little Jack, were you about to speak? Nope, just a little flatulence. What were you saying, honey? Guys, where are you going? We're checking out Jack's macho-wacho trailer. I want to see that boob.
Can I talk to you for a sec? Hey, listen, don't let Moses go in there. They have a cat. Moses is perfectly trained-- Dad, he humps everything that moves.
Honey, he's like his father. I never cheated on you. They're not listening to me. They seem to be getting along really well, don't you think? I kind of feel bad that I worried so much. I'm two weeks late.
I'm nauseous, my boobs hurt, and I can smell everything. You're gonna have a baby. Oh, we're gonna have a little baby, a baby. You realize your father is going to kill me? No, no, no, no, no. He's not gonna find out because we're not going to tell him. He's a human lie detector. He lives to sniff out stuff like this. We'll get through this weekend, we'll get through tomorrow. And-- and-- and we'll tell them on Sunday before we go. We'll tell them all. I just hate the idea of keeping secrets from your dad.
It's just one little secret. Welcome to the chateau. No wonder they don't want to sleep in our shit box. Look at this place. I-- I don't think the dog is such a good idea. Moses is more of a lover than a fighter. He's always dreamt of me having a white wedding. You don't know how upset he's gonna be. No, I do know.
Dad, I told you to keep him out of the RV. He said he wanted to see the RV. Get that goddamn dog out of here! Jinx, don't do it. I'm gonna save you! The cat can flush? Get out of the way! What the hell are you doing?
I got to get my dog! What about my toilet? So much for the protection of our rolling safe house. Oh, honey, he was trying to save his pet. I mean, what if it was Jinxy who got flushed into a toilet? Jinx has had extensive aquatic training. He would have known exactly what to do in the event of a submersion.
Sorry about the trailer, Jack. There's no way we're not telling him this weekend. That's what I was saying. So, what do you wanna do? I never thought this'd be an issue. I thought we'd be married before we got pregnant. Why don't we move the wedding up to next month? Then we'll tell your dad you got pregnant on the honeymoon. Oh, my God, yeah, that could work.
Just follow my lead. Without further ado, my famous Focker Fondue. Come on, dig in. Get it while it's hot. That is so impressive, Bernie. Did you do that yourself? I love to cook. I can't even fry an egg. I'm amazed he finds the time to cook with such a high-powered legal career. I wouldn't exactly call-- Uh-oh! Why did you kick me? I kick-- kicked you because you're being modest and you should tell people that you are a good lawyer, which he is, a- a-and he has fought some really big, important legal battles.
Truth is, Jack, when Gay was born, I stopped practicing and became a stay-at-home dad. Oh, believe me, he won a trial or two in his day. This is the sign for poop! Well, what's the sign for sour milk, because this, uh, tastes a little funky. That's because that's from Debbie's left breast, Greg. Greg, a man reaches a certain age when he realizes what's truly important. Do you know what that is? If your family's circle joins in my family's circle, they'll form a chain.
I can't have a chink in my chain. I don't care if they did call you Larry Poppins. You are completely unfit to handle a child. It was Barry Poppins. What kind of a sick cocktail were you going to make my grandson?
Jack, the baby's teething. I told Greg to give him some rum to ease the pain. It was your idea? What is wrong with you people?! I used to rub bourbon on Denny's gums. Look what happened to him. Greg, you couldn't follow a simple set of instructions? Jack, he was screaming. So I went in and I gave him a little attention. He's learning to self-soothe. These setbacks are disastrous for his development. The child is adorable, but you're not raising Little Buddha over here.
Make the most of your AMC experience
Jinx is a Himalayan cat. All but one of the cats who play him are from rescue shelters. Stiller said they never considered casting his real parents, comedy duo Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara.
Still, she was heavily involved, from developing the script to choosing her makeup and wardrobe. The studio ran a contest where people named Focker could win a trip to their Universal Studios theme park. There were almost no Fockers in America. The ones in the phone book were fakes. Streisand worked with well-known sex therapists, the Berman sisters, to prepare for this role.
De Niro fought for it. Ben Stiller improvised all of the lines with the baby. Hoffman studied with a capoeira specialist. He got so good at it that Director Jay Roach told him to stop. It was only supposed to be a passing phase for Bernie, and Hoffman was becoming an expert.
Stiller and Streisand never spoke before he called her to do the movie. But the really surprising thing for me was that after the first week or so, it really felt like a family.
For better or for worse. The crew pumped one million gallons of water into a dried lagoon to create the backdrop for Focker Isle. Despite the behavior, Moses was actually played by a female Yorkie.
He improvised a lot in this movie. Stiller and De Niro kept making each other break up laughing. They barely held it together on set. Dustin Hoffman took his pants all the way off and mooned Stiller to get an authentic reaction out of him. Director Jay Roach applied the whipped cream to Streisand.
No one else would dare to do it.