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When Hoseok breathes out, Yoongi breathes in. Hoseok watches him with huge dark eyes. His head drops back almost involuntarily, exposing the column of his throat. He breathes out and is instantly fascinated by the haze of blue smoke, how the light from the laptop flickers through it. Then he sees the ceiling fan—which seems to be rotating not fluidly, not in a blur, but in tiny fragments, film stills, stop-motion animation—and watches it, amazed.
Slowly, he registers that Hoseok is kissing and sucking at his neck. Hard and wet and slow, the slightest hint of teeth. How does he know exactly what Yoongi likes? He closes his eyes and tips his head back again. He wants Hoseok everywhere, really. Are you always like this? Yeah, sweetheart, I got you. Yoongi tosses his head back and gasps at the ceiling when Hoseok cups him through his boxers. The pressure is incredible.
His mind is bobbing in a sea of smoke and arousal, everything light and airy and languid and so fucking good. A thought rises to the surface: He shoves it away. It would be—too much. Hoseok is stoned and horny and he wants to fuck around with a warm body and he knows that Yoongi, his best friend, is gay. This has nothing to do with kissing. Yoongi glances down—there he is, pink and oversensitive and dripping—and wriggles a little, seeking pressure.
Hoseok gives it to him. With his eyes closed, Yoongi loses himself in his high. In the slow, liquid pleasure building up in his lower belly, pulsating through his whole body. Bellamy pretends to be above it all for a while, texting on the prepaid phone that he bought with the money from his summer job, mowing lawns.
She knows he loves her, like she loves him. She learns that Monty and Jasper are basically the same. They stare at her.
Clarke rolls her eyes. Clarke pedaled over on her bike, with Wells perched on the handlebars because his has a flat tire. He gives the driver one last wave, and wanders over to them, eyeing Wells up and down before giving a nod to the others.
The boys and Octavia all fall asleep in a dog pile sometime after midnight, with the mattresses pushed together in the screened-in room.
Clarke wanders into the kitchen for a glass of water, and sees the porch light is on outside. Clarke sits down beside him, and he gives her a raised brow of acknowledgment, blowing the smoke out his nose. And they stain your teeth. She eyes the cigarette in his hand, smoked almost all the way to the filter. That sounded really grown up. You almost convinced me. Clarke can almost trick herself into thinking that the look on his face is just for her.
She wants him to like Wells. She keeps a bottle of shampoo in the shower, too. She thinks about the truck that afternoon, and the person that was driving it. So I definitely have at least one. Who needs more than one friend, anyway? We have to plan a party. He narrows his eyes, suspicious. She tries to look innocent and respectable. Bellamy crosses his arms, which does a lot of different things to his biceps and abdominal muscles, and his whole upper body in general. It can be a joint thing, for both of us.
Dunno why I even asked. It has a bench seat and no AC, so they roll down both windows and crowd in together with Clarke in the middle, since Octavia has longer legs and wants to stick her hand out the window.
Bellamy checks the price and does some mental math. Which, again, is stupid. Siblings are supposed to know each other better than anyone else. People start showing up as the sun is setting, turning everything a hazy shade of orange. She takes a sip and makes a face at the taste. He laughs and takes it back. She wonders how often he does this, goes to parties and drinks and chats. And he was right, after all; he does have friends.
She looks effortlessly cool in a jean skirt and tank top that makes Clarke feel embarrassingly thirteen. Clarke sizes him up quickly. But it feels so familiarand it endears him to her almost immediately. It feels like a sign. Apparently Finn is new in town, and has gym class with Monty and Jasper, who were the ones that told him to swing by.
Or, gatorade pong, probably, since Clarke knows She may be newly thirteen, but Bellamy would never let a bunch of twelve year olds play drinking games with actual beer. People keep drawing mustaches on it with sharpies. Her parents bought her one when she started seventh grade, for emergencies.
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She figures this counts. Atom and Jasper eventually find them, collecting Finn for a pick-up game of soccer, because someone brought a ball. Octavia drapes herself onto Clarke not long after, watching the boys play with a spark in her eyes.
She smells like soda and her coconut shampoo. My favoritesClarke. Blake recently had a new couch delivered, the the floral one is supposed to be on the curb for the trash collectors, but Octavia thought it might serve as good seating for the party. She tucked Octavia in, between Monty and Jasper on the living room floor, before heading out to find the older Blake.
Clarke watches him for a moment before flopping down beside him on the cushion. He grins around his cigarette and peeks an eye open to look at her.
Clarke tries not to think about the fact that the filter was still wet from his mouth when she took it. He brings it back to his lips now, and she has to look away, still coughing a little. He smells like summer and smoke and sunscreen. All the things that she associates with the Blake house, and home.
Clarke spends most of her free time with Finn, her boyfriend. She has a boyfriendand she loves it. Finn seems to love it too, seems to love her. He gets along with her friends, and they seem to like him too.
They have dinner with her parents, and he charms them over too, talking about how he thinks he might join the Peace Corps, because he wants to help try and save the world. Clarke feels more and more gone for him everyday. She until Finn heads home after hanging out with her and Octavia, and then Clarke corners Bellamy in the kitchen while he makes himself a sandwich.
She crawls into bed with Octavia, feeling hot and heavy with anger. Finn is there already, having hitched a ride with Monty and Jasper, and Clarke is excited to introduce him and Raven up until the moment she realizes they already know each other.
Finn has enough time to look thoroughly shocked before Raven throws herself into his arm and kisses him full on the mouth. Clarke watches in disbelief as her boyfriend kisses her back. Across the room, Monty and Jasper are staring openly, mouths agape.
Finally, Raven pulls back, still smiling and oblivious to the tension in the room. He looks guilty, which is what makes her break. Be yourself, and the right people will come into your life. Give up your resistance to change. Minds only work when they are open. Give up on your fears.
Remember that fear is something we create in our mind. We limit ourselves with excuses, instead of growing and working on improving ourselves. Give up the past. Live is a journey, not a destination. Detach yourself from possessions, little by little, and you will see you will become more peaceful, tolerant and kind.
Attachment comes from a place of fear, and we worry that without that thing, we will lose something positive. It could be what their parents thought, or what their friends, teachers, or media think is best for them. You have one life, so live it, own it and create your own path. Questions that can help you transform your life What am I holding on to that no longer feels good?
What have I been avoiding out of fear? What dream have I ignored, but it keeps coming back to me? What in my life am I forcing and can let go of? What skills or talents am I not using? What am I committed to changing and removing from my life? What brings me incredible joy and am my best self? Be honest with yourself about what you want and who you are so that your transformation can begin.
Shift your mindset to get what you really want Create your new normal. Take the time to figure out what you truly want; a new career, more financial security, better relationships.
Think about how that might feel to have that as your normal, natural part of your life. Invite that feeling into your awareness and be open to experiencing that every day. Identify your future beliefs. Think about the future version of yourself in your new normal. Think of these future beliefs and how you can start doing them today.
Having more fun in your life has all kinds of benefits, in addition to just being happier. Look at the things you enjoyed doing as a kid and tap into your inner child and reveal your passions.
Studies have shown that the anticipation of an enjoyable event can make you just as happy as doing the activity. Pamper yourself by doing something you enjoy. An example of a fun activity is coloring. The whole adult coloring book craze is worldwide and you can find them anywhere books or art supplies are sold.
Coloring helps you unwind. Studies show it clears your mind and center your thoughts to help you relax and de-stress. It improves your focus, and have even have a positive effect on your mood, energy level and how well you sleep.
/ot/ - off-topic
It stimulates your right brain and helps you think more clearly. It can help you express your creativity and we tend to have the best ideas when your right brain is stimulated. Things that make you go Hmmm? The key to getting anything you want is patience, timing, and trust. The things we cling to out of fear prevent us from growing.