Lying: A Relationship Deal Breaker | HuffPost
Not an intimate relationship, I agree, but still the sort of thing that could Lying can impact this intimacy by affecting all parts involved: the one. Secrets and unfolding lies in a relationship disqualify authenticity and intimacy. Reconsidering secrets and lies with disclosure and honesty. Perhaps the most obvious impact that lying has on a relationship is the erosion of trust one person has in the other. Lies and trust cannot easily.
Everyone agrees that lying hurts you and everyone around you. I received a comment from Brooke, who said: My dad lies to us my brothers and I about going out to bars and drinking. I tell him how much it hurts us each time he does lie but he just keeps on lying.
The worst lie he has told me was that he was with my brother and not at the barbut I was with my brother. When you lie, even if you think others will never find out, you will almost certainly create a barrier of hurt in your relationship.
I am a single mom of a teenage daughter. Her continuous lies have created a huge barrier in our relationship. I always catch her in lies and it hurts.
Once someone has lied to you, it somehow always happens again. When I was little, I told lies all the time, and never felt guilty about them.
But then something happened that I needed to tell someone about, and nobody believed me. My early lying paved the way for years of heartache. Now, I never lie. So what do you want your relationships to be based on? Lies that you tell, in order to protect yourself, or to avoid conflict? Or do you want relationships to be based on a commitment to honesty and integrity, regardless of the hard times?
It is a relationship destroyer that ends up destroying you. A fellow blogger wrote to me about his problem with lying: Are you hiding with fear? Are you acting out anger?
Are you getting the attention that is missing with your partner? Secrets may be reconsidered as unspoken communications to self or partner that should not be ignored.
Unaddressed they close doors and erode a relationship. Lies A lie involves making a false statement to another person with the intention of having them believe that it is true. When people are involved in secrets, they often engage in lying to maintain the secrecy.
Lying to a partner makes intimacy and trust impossible.
5 ways lying destroys your relationship
Truth Bias One of the painful parts of finding out that your partner has been lying is the self-blame for believing the lie. In reality, when people are in a relationship they are more likely to judge their partner as truthful than to detect deception.
Essentially it is emotionally and cognitively dissonant to believe anyone you love could be betraying you. Hurt, retaliation, on-going resentment grows.
- The Impact of Secrets and Lies in a Relationship: A Closer Look
- Lying: A Relationship Deal Breaker
- How Lying Hurts You
The opportunity for understanding, remorse, trust and working it out together is lost. An Honesty Policy In his continued work to help partners make their marriages the best they can be, marriage expert, M Gary Neuman, draws upon research and clinical experience to suggest that a commitment to honesty in the small and big issues is actually a protective commitment for a couple.
It greatly reduces the chances of cheating because the marriage is built on an infrastructure of trust and safety for disclosure. There will be room to verbalize upset, loneliness or disappointment rather than secretly acting it out. When it comes to whether she made the deposit for the bank or he made the plan for childcare—the truth matters because it is the basis for ongoing trust and respect. Safety of disclosure re-enforces honestly as the fabric of the relationship.
Surprisingly one of the worst kept secrets in a marriage is love and appreciation of one partner by another. Daring to disclose the positive secrets may be the ones overlooked and the best guarantees of love and loyalty a couple can find. Learn more about their work at couplesaftertrauma.