Living Apart Together – A New Generation of Couples – The NYU Dispatch
This phenomenon is referred to as "living apart together," or LAT. Basically, living together puts up barriers to ending a relationship – it's more difficult for. It's called Living Apart Together (LAT) by the people who study such phenomena, and for many it is how they keep their relationships going. More Canadians are gravitating toward a 'living apart together' relationship model in which they share everything but a home.
The State of the Union series takes a deep dive into five alternative relationship models and uncovers the changing face of Canadian love. The majority of LAT couples were aged 20 to 24 31 per cent and 25 to 29 17 per cent.
In many cases, their situations were dictated by work or school arrangements, or financial constraints that prevented them from moving out of their respective family homes.
In fact, over 80 per cent of the young couples planned on living together one day, while only 30 per cent of those over 60 said the same. An Ipsos poll exclusively commissioned by Global News surveyed 1, Canadians and found similar results.
Of the sample group who identified as married or living common law 53 per centsix per cent lived in separate homes, two per cent of whom were married. When asked how they felt their living arrangement affected their union, 40 per cent believed that living apart makes their relationship stronger.
Why living apart together is worth a try
Marcia Sirota, a board-certified psychiatrist and founder of the Ruthless Compassion Institute. But how do the relationships work? People in a LAT couple can have a strong sense of independence while also enjoying the benefits of intimacy.
They can bring more romance, passion and novelty to the relationship when they come together after time spent apart.Being Single VS. Being In A Relationship
For LAT couples, they can experience less conflict in their relationship, because they're able to go home and cool off when they're feeling angry or frustrated with their partner. If they're getting on each other's nerves, they can retreat to their separate corners with no one feeling abandoned or rejected.
Living Apart Together Could Be The Relationship Style That Brings You Closer | HuffPost Canada
Another advantage to the LAT arrangement is that these couples tend to feel less stuck in an unsatisfying relationship. If things aren't working out, it's much easier to walk away. They don't have the stress of splitting up their possessions, cleaning out an apartment or selling a house. If the relationship isn't making them happy, they can choose to end it, no harm, no foul.
Not being together every moment of every day can make the partners value each other more and be more grateful for the time they have together. They're less likely to take each other for granted and they're more likely to expend the effort to make each moment count.
Justin Case via Getty Images Sometimes, when a couple moves in together and they aren't actually compatible, the fact of cohabiting makes them believe that they're closer than they are. They've invested emotionally and financially in sharing a space so it's that much harder to imagine splitting up.
Living apart together
A couple like this might remain together for longer than they should; tolerating a relationship that ought to have ended a long time ago. In LAT couples, there's no sense of an artificially increased commitment to the relationship that happens when people choose to live together.
Older women in particular, who have already been married and raised families, are reluctant to give up their new, self-sustaining lifestyles. However, many researchers are looking to long-distance relationships as a way of understanding the emotional and psychological effects of this new phenomenon. People in long-distance relationships tend to feel more passionately towards their partner, and view their partner in a more idealized manner.
As the old adage goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Another suggested benefit of living together but apart is that it could reduce the risk of codependency in the relationship.
While LAT relationships might not be ideal for everyone, they could certainly be a healthy alternative to people who are prone to putting their own interests aside to appease their partners. Especially in the case of marital difficulties where codependency appears to be the root of the problem, transitioning to an LAT relationship could break the cycle of codependency and allow for the couple to develop a stronger bond.