How To Overcome The Power Struggle Stage In Relationships
Five stages of anything immediately reminds me of death and the work to increase energy, elevate mood and increase feelings of well-being. The second stage of a relationship is power struggle, which is where some couples who believe that romantic love will last forever become. At this stage of the relationship, couples will take note of the differences and may even begin to complain or attempt to problem-solve. Previous Post By Sally.
Lessons About Power Struggles in a Relationship | HuffPost Canada
And how do you make your love last? The more I thought about it, the more I realized that power struggles play a huge role in determining a relationship's success. But that it's about HOW you fight, how you struggle to find that common ground to develop and grow within the relationship.
It's a lot like self-awareness: The same goes for your relationship. Here are my key learnings about power struggles in a relationship: Understand that the honeymoon phase will end. Perhaps not with my still-smitten luncheon colleague: His quirks you once found cute now drive you up the wall.
The honeymoon phase doesn't last forever; we all wear "rose-coloured glasses" in the beginning. The actual duration differs depending on who you ask, but we could generally agree that this period of bliss lasts one to two years.
Some people say shorter, some say longer; some even say you can predict how quickly it will end. It's almost like the beginning of a relationship is all chemical -- all about your heart -- and the rest of it is about your head. Because that's when we start to see things more clearly, and if we know the honeymoon phase will end we can anticipate this clarity will come. This helps us stay realistic. Recognize the difference between healthy power struggles and unhealthy controlling behaviour.
What does it mean to have power struggles in a relationship?
They can be anything from letting your spouse get his way about watching sports every night to more important things like control issues in a relationship. An example of this is a jealous partner: But as time passes, jealousy can be extremely destructive to a relationship. It is the opposite of trust. This type of behaviour can create an unhealthy power struggle -- a very serious one at that.
And, believe it or not, some minor power struggles like, "Don't look at your smartphone during dinner, please", can turn into a HUGE issue when that is someone's way of controlling you.
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It's important to recognize the difference between healthy and unhealthy behaviourbecause when it all boils down, we are grownups and we can choose if we want to live our lives with or without someone telling us what to do. Create a relationship "contract. This is actually a very important phase in a relationship because it's where you create your relationship "contract.
Therapists say that we all have a relationship contract and the reality is, once it is set in place, it's not so simple to erase it; to change it, you actually may need to break up.
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You have about a year to write it -- figuratively speaking, of course. I find this to be a great analogy of relationship building, and when you think of it as a contract, you're more likely to take seriously the choices you make or the actions you take.
Power should be equal. Both halves of a couple will notice weaknesses and differences or flaws. Some of those perpetual issues or differences such as free-spending or frugal, neat and orderly or sloppy and disorganized, interested in lots of time together or more involved in outside activities begin to emerge. At this stage of the relationship, couples will take note of the differences and may even begin to complain or attempt to problem-solve.
As intimacy develops between the two people, more self-disclosure emerges, both verbally and nonverbally as couples act in ways that are more like how they are in their daily life. This is when the big question emerges even more strongly: Pushing for an answer; however, may cause real problems in the relationship. Each person needs to listen to their own inner voice and wisdom.
There is no need to rush through this important stage and every reason to go slowly.
How Power Struggles Can Create Relationship Growth
Open and honest conversations should be happening as couples plan their present and future together. Questions about children, finances, careers, future goals and lifestyle should be discussed more fully. Differences are normal and couples will learn about themselves and their relationship as they note how they handle these differences with each other. This is also an important stage for couples to use to evaluate the relationship and their ability to be part of an emotionally intelligent relationship.